Vivaldi. Ah Vivaldi! Nesse quase inverno, você me faz sentir mais uma vez os dias lindos que vivi em Março. Tenho vontade de rasgar o calendário só pra tentar voltar para os dias que as páginas levaram. Tinhamos nós na banheira, no colchão na sala, na mesa de jantar que você utilizava para empilhar teus livros de direito ao lado do seu telefone de caveira, eu na sua varanda, você nas tuas roupas maiores que tuas medidas, eu subindo o elevador com o coração palpitando de vontade de te ver, nossos abraços, nossos cheiros, nossos diálogos em francês, nossa troca de culturas… Tudo isto se foi antes mesmo de Abril se iniciar.
Ah Vivaldi. Porque?
Tenho saudades.
So tired of people who don’t inspire. I don’t want to waste my time seeking for love anymore. It’s time to put a full stop on it and start seeking for those fun moments that was very urgent when we were younger. It would be more tangible and would charge me with peace and happiness so much more. My last attempt of loving smashed up against the wall in a way that I wasn’t expecting. It still hurts because I haven’t freed myself from the feeling yet. You know what? I hate talking about failed love stories. It’s so stupid! I want to focus on good things and in what places they can take me to.
Such a horrible feeling to think that I can’t have you being part of my days anymore. Writing about it makes me want to text you but I won’t. I promised myself not to. Losing the power of guiding the steering wheel is what I need, because I really urge to be surprised by life more than I wish to make things happen. No more questioning, what I want are answers. Your life would be happier with me, I have no doubt about it. You’re an idiot and I’m awesome!
